FREE SAMPLE, The Little Love Book for Husbands and Wives
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Here is the Forward, the Table of Contents and the first chapter of: The Little Love Book For Husbands and Wives
Forward
There have been hundreds of books written on the subject of love and marriage over the years. In this modern age,
which glorifies self-gratification and pleasure seeking, I feel like it is time to reexamine our basic concept of the most
important of all human relationships, Marriage!
We get advice from every possible place on the subject. Yet, you have only a fifty-percent chance statistically, of
having a successful marriage with the first person with whom you choose to take your vows. This book is written along
traditional lines of thought. If you do not want to look at it in this way, this book may not be for you. The contents will
be something you might expect to hear from DR. LAURA, along with a little philosophy from DR. RUTH, for good
measure.
You may be wondering what my qualifications are for writing this book. I never went to college. I never studied this
subject formally. But, I am a student of human nature and I just celebrated my 48th wedding anniversary and may I
add to the same spouse! I have seen many friends and relatives fail at making a marriage work after as many as
thirty years to as little as one year. It is amazing what you can see from outside a relationship that cannot be
observed from the inside. This is the reason that counselors and therapists are successful in their profession in
countless cases. If you are not willing to listen to them, you may be wasting your time and possibly, putting your
marriage in jeopardy. There will be times in this writing when I will refer to a husband or wife individually. Unless I use
one of the words such as penis or vagina, the statement will apply to both husbands and wives equally. You must
also remember that this work was written by a man. Therefore, to some of you ladies, the material may appear sexist.
I believe some sexist ideas are perfectly appropriate and healthy within marriage from both points of view. So, when
you think I am being sexist, please be patient and read this little book with an open mind. I can assure you that I have
the utmost respect for all women, and it is never my intent to degrade you or lessen your importance to the world. I
am one man who thanks God, every day of my life, for creating you to be loved, and to love us in return. I hope that
you consider my point of view and if this book helps one couple stay married, or get off to the right start, it will not
have been written in vain.
*Note: At the risk of being accused of exaggerating, this author believes that the two women, Dr. Laura Schlessinger
and Dr. Ruth Westheimer, have done more to bolster human relations and relationships than any other women over
the last 500 years. They both should be remembered in the history books as two of the giants of social contribution in
the twentieth century, along with other great ladies such as Eleanor Roosevelt and Mother Theresa. Although none
of us will agree with the first two ladies in all cases, my opinion is, if you seriously consider their recommendations
and act upon them, you will be right about ninety-five percent of the time.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter One: The Sign of Preference
Chapter Two: Little Things Mean A Lot
Chapter Three: Being Faithful
Chapter Four: Grooming
Chapter Five: Making it Work (Forever)
Chapter Six: Dos and Donts Check List
Chapter Seven: Dates are Important
Chapter Eight: Listen!
Chapter Nine: Special Treatment and Surprises
Chapter Ten: Be Thoughtful and Considerate
Chapter Eleven: Intimate Moments (If you dare!)
Please note that the back of each page has purposely been left blank to allow readers to make personal notes
Chapter One
The Sign of Preference
There have been many books written about love and how to love your spouse, who should be the most significant
person in your life. The one thing that seems to stand out in most is the single most important aspect of all other
things: THE SIGN OF PREFERENCE! First and foremost, you must always show this sign of preference if you would
have your love endure and be returned in kind. Do you remember the very first time God spoke concerning marriage
of a man and a woman in Holy Scripture? He said, through Adam, whom He had just presented with Eve, Wherever, a
man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; and they shall be two in one flesh! Hence, the term,
your other half. Take this to heart and live by that principle. Your spouse is truly your other half! It is absolutely
essential to the success of a marriage, that a husband show to everyone that he prefers his wife to everyone else in
the world and that the wife show a similar preference for her husband! If these feelings are not felt deeply within your
heart, THE WEDDING SHOULD NEVER TAKE PLACE! The sign of preference requires that each spouse openly feel
and demonstrate that his or her own health, wealth, security, welfare and happiness is secondary to that of his wife or
her husband! He alone is responsible if her love for him dies. Likewise, she alone is responsible if she allows his love
for her to die. If you are together at a function, party, gathering or any place else with others, always take care of
your spouses needs first. Everyone present should understand that your wife or husband comes first in your life.
There should be no bad feelings regarding this by anyone who knows you or they should politely be corrected. You
should demonstrate this to others when you are in control of the situation. Your spouse must be served and his/her
needs tended to first, even before those of yourself, your friends or relatives. In a perfect world, with everyone feeling
and living by the above principle, there would be no divorce and all would have a chance to celebrate a fiftieth
wedding anniversary. In reality, many people place many other people ahead of their spouses. You may be living in a
situation like this too. If you are the offended person, you can do one of several things. If you are truly in love with
your spouse, my choice would be: First make up your mind that you are not going to be jealous of other people,
(especially relatives), that your spouse may put before you. The joy of giving your unconditional love to your spouse
will make you happy if you let it and eventually should cause your spouse to redirect his/her attentions toward you
and give you your rightful position of number one in his/her life! This can sometimes take years and require
considerable patience on your part. In some cases it may never come to pass, but at least you can take comfort from
the fact that you did your part to make your life time partners life as pleasant and loving as possible. The second
choice is to confront your spouse about it. You can do this very diplomatically and point out his/her inappropriate
behavior. You can do this without your spouse actually realizing it. This sometimes works and the situation can be
easily corrected. However, in many cases it can backfire and create ill feelings between you, your spouse and your
in-laws, if they are involved. It is best at this time, to let it alone. If it does not correct itself in a few years, you need to
speak up and claim your rightful place in the pecking order of marital life. The worst enemy of The Sign of Preference
is human pride! There is nothing more damaging to a marriage than pride. It has a terrible way of getting in the way
of The Sign of Preference. Pride sometimes will not allow you to place your husband or wife on that special pedestal
for fear of looking smaller or less important to him/her, but more often, to others. You are afraid you will loose your
importance or control if you acknowledge that your spouse is your equal; mostly in front of others. You look at it as a
sign of weakness. There is nothing more damaging between spouses than human pride. Jealousy is a close second.
Pride often will prevent you from confiding your true feelings to your spouse. Remember, this is the person to whom
you have pledged your undying love; the one and only that you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Is not
he/she worthy of your complete confidence and trust? Forget what he or she will think of you. Most likely it will be
greater love and respect, if you completely open up to him or her. You must be completely open and never be afraid
to talk to your spouse about anything including your wildest dreams, your fantasies and most importantly the
complete truth in every case. It is imperative that you be completely willing to hear his/her thoughts in return with
understanding and without ridicule. Never take them for granted; treat them seriously. You are not the lesser person
for taking this approach. You are a person who is deeply in love and nothing in the world is more important to you
than your wife/husband and his/her feelings! Personal human pride has no place between you. Always be proud that
you married him/her and never be reluctant to demonstrate your happiness with him/her in private and in public as
well. Many times, problems develop around relatives and in-laws. You choose to leave home and spend your life with
your spouse. You share your most intimate feelings, words and thoughts with him/her at your home. This should not
diminish when you are around your parents, brothers, sisters or other relatives, period! They ALL have to know and
understand that your spouse is the most important person in your life. If you have difficulty with this you should not
have gotten married in the first place. Most likely these individuals were all at your wedding and heard you make your
vows and pledge your love for this person until death. So it should come as no surprise to anyone who knows you
that respecting your spouses opinion and holding him/her above everyone else in the world is primary in your life. If
they do not understand this, you must explain it to them. Their feelings should not be hurt because they should be
happy for you that you have found your lifetime companion whom you love above all others. It is imperative to the
success of your marriage that this be known and understood by all concerned. If they are not willing to accept it, you
should limit your contact with them in the company of your spouse in order to spare him/her the embarrassment of
uncomfortable treatment in the situations of your life together, period! As GOD has said: They shall be two in one
flesh. Always show the Sign of Preference for your wife/husband in private and in public and always, above everyone
else in the world! The only exception to this should be the care you show to your minor children and only to the extent
that they require because they are not mature enough to care for themselves. It is our obligation as parents to
provide care to them until we have trained them to care for themselves. Every possible effort must be made to do this
loving task with as little interference as humanly possible in your personal relationship with your spouse. As you are
equally obligated to this task, you should show support and understanding to one another in the raising of your
children. You conceived these kids during an act of love and you should care for them together with the same
dedication and love. Do not be jealous of the attention your spouse gives to your children. They are an important
part of your relationship. On the other hand, do not give your spouse a reason to have jealous feelings regarding the
children. Never forget to show your love to each other even with the heavy burden of raising your kids. (Another
whole book could be written on this subject.) Again, remember that you made them together, so love and care for
them together and never be afraid to show your affection for each other in front of them. They should grow up
knowing that mom and dad love each other more than anything or anyone else in the world. This fine example will rub
off on them and they will have a much better chance at a happy adult life with their lifetime partner if they were raised
in an atmosphere of love and respect for one another.
Ask for the book by its title: The Little Love Book for Husbands and Wives or the ISBN No. 1-4137-3284-4.
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